BallersRide - A fairly concise recap

It is on! I’ve been looking forward to these three days for more than a year now, and Ballers Ride 2.0 is finally here. I’m rolling south with ten grand worth of bikes on the roof of my Jeep, and I can feel the trappings of upper-middleclass society slipping away more and more as the mile-markers add up in my rear view mirror. Beer bottles clink together inside the cooler as the roads get rougher and twistier, and, in the back seat, a liter of single-malt is rolling violently back and forth between kids’ safety seats through every turn. I don’t even consider stopping to secure it. That might slow me down, and, besides, a smashed bottle of scotch would just add to the legend of this weekend. I don’t get a lot of time away from the family these days, and, quite honestly, I don’t like to spend a lot of time away from them. But this is Ballers Ride – the premier event on the planet for bike geeks. A chance to gather with fellow Ballers and ride, drink, ride, talk bikes, and most importantly ride.

Nelson County, Virginia is a place poised precariously between civilization and wilderness. The roads are steep and lined with dense, tangled forest. Mountainside homes here run the gamut between squalid singlewides with upholstered chairs and sofas arranged as outdoor furniture and 20-room cabins with glass walls and wine cellars. Cellphone coverage is spotty at best.

I arrive at the Acorn Inn around 1pm. About a dozen or so Ballers are already there, most are unloading bikes and gear; others are trying to find their rooms. There are handshakes, bro-hugs, as well as a few introductions, but none of it with the prim gentility of colonial lords and ladies. No, this is Ballers, there’s a ride scheduled, and it’s leaving shortly. There’s eager anticipation in the air and a scramble to fill bottles and pull riding gear from suitcases.

The Friday ride was billed as a “short road ride” that would “shake out the legs” after a long day of driving. We started an immediate descent from the Acorn Inn, and within the very first minute a group of us were nearly plowed over by a station wagon hauling a trailer full of lawn-mowing equipment, and one of us had an encounter with a dangerous dog. Aside from that, and a few semi-threatening country dogs, the rest of the ride was downright blissful. You know it immediately, and you appreciate it, when you’re riding with skilled, experienced riders. These guys can ride.

And this shakeout ride was, in truth, short at 25.6 miles, but few of us suspected 2,235 feet of climbing over a dragon’s tooth profile, or just how eager some of the Ballers were to win every hill sprint and how eager the rest of us were not to show any cracks. This was no ordinary 25-miler – this was a mini-Baller event.

We made our way back to the Acorn Inn as a group, and spent the next two hours sitting outside on the porch discussing finance, the gigantic owl we’d seen, human medical waste disposal (specifically organs and limbs) which somehow led to pornography, and so on.Surprisingly, there was very little discussion on bikes, or the ride, or about tomorrow’s Ballers Ride.One by one we rotated in and out of the discussion to get cleaned up for dinner.Beer started to flow, and chicken, corn, and potatoes were served hot off the grill.

Over dinner, the primary topic of discussion was tomorrow's weather; the forecast called for high heat and humidity. There was talk of starting the ride an hour earlier to avoid the heat. At one point I mentioned the day’s gravel climb and descent to a Ballers 1.0 veteran.I asked if that was what I should expect for the Ballers Ride – it was a hard, hard climb, and people were hurting.“That climb?Well, sorta.The climbs in Ballers Ride are like that but much, much longer.”I didn’t get it.I just peeled more meat off the bone with my fingers and stuffed it in my mouth, blissfully ignorant that I’d just been warned.

Mini-Ballers Ride Details:

25.6 total miles
2,235 feet of climbing
1:35 minutes
45mph max speed
16mph average speed